A friend of mine has a daughter who attempted suicide earlier today, and is currently in the hospital. Thank God, she's going to be physically fine and should get to go home tonight. But, you can't judge a book by its cover. Just because she may look good on the outside doesn't mean that she's ok on the inside. That's the case with all of us. Our outer appearances often don't reflect our inner feelings. This whole situation brought up a lot of memories. I know so many people who have struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide. I know a few more who have attempted it, and one more who succeeded. It's a very serious subject that many don't take seriously- which is probably because of the people who simply just crave attention, or use it for manipulation purposes. I'm not proud to admit this, but I have struggled with depression myself, and have even attempted to end it all. That was years and years ago, and I now realize that there are other, better ways to handle those feelings. Plus, I pride myself on honesty. I feel like, in order to preach about this subject, I have to make it known that I know where people are coming from and am not speaking passionately on a subject I know nothing about.
There are so many other ways to handle this. Life is a precious gift. You only get one... You need to make it count. Suicide only robs you of everything you could have been, and leaves everyone around you hurt, sad, and confused. Believe it or not, there ARE people who would be very sad to see you go! Besides, its' not like you can just kill yourself on a bad day, then the next day say "Ok, I was just kidding... I take it back now!" I've said this in other entries, but you have to FIGHT for what you want. You should fight for yourself and for your own life. You're worth it! Even if you don't feel like you are. I read before that almost everyone who attempts suicide and fails is extremely grateful for their failed attempts and their second shot at life... Which only makes it even sadder for those who do succeed. My dad has been a police officer for almost 24 years. He always tells me stories about many of the various calls he responds to. I can't tell you how many times he's told me of suicide calls that he's had to go on. And how many times he's described the family and people around. Not only do people who consider and attempt suicide not take into consideration who will be hurt by their actions, they don't take into consideration what their actions will do to the person/people who find them. Suicide isn't pretty. The most recent story that he told me was one of a man who decided he couldn't handle life anymore, and shot himself in the head. There's not really any way to do that in a tidy manner. It was a horrible mess, and his daughter and grandchildren found him. What do you think that did to their minds? Think they have trouble sleeping? Knowing you've lost someone is one kind of pain, seeing it for yourself is entirely different.
Everyone matters. Even you. Especially you. You have no idea what kind of person you can be, or the things you can accomplish in life, if you only believe in yourself and all that you are. You have to know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle. I've also said before that when one chapter ends in your life, it doesn't mean the book is over. You just simply turn the page. Suicide is like being in the middle of a beautiful novel and ripping out the last half of the book. You and no one else around you will ever discover how that novel ends. You have the power to turn everything around. Sometimes bad things happen. We go through disappointments and other things in life that make us feel as though our hearts have been ripped out. None of us are exempt. That's just the way life is. We all have lessons that we need to learn. Anything that happens to you now, you will use later on. It's not about what happens to you in life, it's how you go on that defines you. You have to go through bad times in order to appreciate the good times. Kahlil Gibran said "Your joy can fill you only as deeply as your sorrow has carved you. If you've never tasted bitterness, sweet is just another pleasant flavor on your tongue" I know I've posted that before, but it's one of my favorite quotes, and it's so true!
If you aren't currently struggling with these thoughts, and never have, know what a blessing that is! You may feel this way one day, or you may know someone who has. Reach out. Let everyone around you know how important they are. Be kind to everyone you meet. Everyone is facing battles that the rest of us have no idea about.
Please send up some prayers for my friend and everything her family is going through. Thank God there wasn't a different outcome!
Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever!
YOU ARE LOVED!